Category: Dating and Relationships
Here is a question for all of you who have ever been held by another person. My question to you is, do you enjoy being held? why or why not?
My simple answer to this question is that, no, I do not enjoy being held because I feel too hot when my fiance holds me. I hate feeling closed in and whenever I am held, I feel like I can not breathe!!! Any other responses?
*sexy*
I think being held is the most wonderful feeling, and I think that to hold someone who you care deeply about, who means more to you than anything in the world is the most wonderful feeling. I love to be held.
Well, an easy answer to an easy question. I love to be held. There's no safer or more comforting place to be but in the one you love's arms. It is a place of surrenity, seccurity, and total peace. I love being held more than anything.
Don't feel too weird SG, I'm not much into holding or being held either for some weird reason. Sometimes I really want to be, as when I go to sleep, I'll wrap myself in my blanket, but if another person holds me, I feel closed in also. Sometimes I'll accept it, like at 15, I let my mom hug me for a longer time than I usually would, but most of the time, I really just don't feel like hugging. Weirdly, this also goes with holding hands or if someone is brabbing my hand to show me something. I'll let someone hold my hand for like about a minute or close to that, but after that, I want them to let go for a little while. And I tense when someone is trying to show me something, even though I need to know, but I guess this last one is because I'd rather figure it out on my own. I don't know, I like spending time with people, but sometimes I don't like being too close to them physically for long periods of time.
Leilani
I love love love beeing held. so snuggley and wamr, accept in winter of course. there's a sense of sacurity and comfort. as well as just a belonging feeling when your partner holds you. and when you hold them. it's beautiful. nothing compares to that
I love being held and cuddled! It's my fave thing. Sometimes I will get in don't touch me mood, but usually it's nto like that. Being held gives me a feeling of safety and sicurity. I also love holding hands with the one I love.
yeah, I probably should not admit this, being a dude, but I do enjoy being held and holding quite a lot. It's one of the many simple yet incredibly profound pleasures of a relationship.
Holding and being held are the most wonderful tings in the world. And, yes, I do admit to getting incredibly warm sometimes because I am just generally a very warm person but that's when you just put the blanket between or simply use sheets. I can't fall asleep, oddly enough, holding someone, or not often anyways, the minute I am drifting off I do need to turn over, I love being held as I am drifting off though, it's a perfect feeling and in the middle of the night if I wake up for a couple f seconds I generally turn around to snuggle up and fall back asleep, it's really wonderful and I could definitely not be happy with someone who didn't feel the same way as I did about snuggling and holding. Holding hands is also beautiful, I am generally very affectionate and affection seeking and it's just the way I am. I know there are peole who feel otherwise and I don't see myself being that happy with them even if I would find them great people / friends.
cheers
-B
hmmm, I'd love to be held and to hold that special some one
Wow!!! It is great hearing how others feel about this. Although tinkerbell and I are in the minority, I still like to read other's reasons for liking it. When I am held, I drift off, sometimes, but can not fall asleep in his arms. I, like you, Wildebrew, have to turn over before I can fall asleep. I do think that being held is nice, but too much of it gets on my nerves. Like sometimes, I would be busy writing a song or something, and he'd come and put his arm around my shoulders. I would get so irritated because I felt like I just didn't need his effections at that moment. Whenever I'd ask him to stop, I'd get: "But I wanna hold you though." and I feel like such a jerk for not enjoying it more!!! I guess I feel like I need my space sometimes and I feel resigned to let him hold me because I know that most women like it and that is just another of my short-comings. Fabolous, don't ever feel weird responding to this topic!!! I meant this for men and women!!! I wish more guys would have the nerve to respond. All my man does is play the games on here and he rarely reads or cares about what his honey writes. So anymore responses???
*sexy*
I guess that if you're the type of person who likes your own space, then being held when you're not in the mood for it could make you feel trapped. Personally I love to be held, and like b, I need to turn over and sleep but love to snuggle up in the night if I wake up. I love physical contact and to hold hands or just reach out and touch the other person just to know they're there, but being held is the greatest feeling in the world *smiles*
Hi,
Well, you know how I feel about your little friend there Michelle, so I won't even start. lol
The fact is that when he wants your attention; you can't just jump. Everyone needs there own space, and he should realize that. Does he do that to you also? Like if you go put your arm around him when he's busy what does he do? If your results are different, you should take that in to consideration.
As for myself, since you asked the question, I like being held, but get in frustrated moods sometimes where I just don't want to be touched. Think someone said the same thing above.
Take care all,
Ryan/Goldberg
I would try telling him that you need your own space and that you find it invasive even though you know he loves you. I love being held, but like you, sometimes I need space too, especially when I'm doing work. Try having him hold you less close, and turn your face and kiss his cheek. Also try turning on your side and hugging him, kissing him, and then stop for fresh air, then go back.
I love being held. It can be great before, during, and after sex. It can also be great all on its own with no sexual expectations.
Hello to all, to be held? Its ok for me to be held, if I know the person and if were close friends or more than, its fine. I just don’t feel that great when its to tight. Haha but its cool in a winter night. Haha well that’s what I have to say.
Wow, trange, when I was dating my girl friend would come and hug me while I was writing something on my guitar or I'd play the guitar all snuggled up in bed with her and I loved the attention, as long as she didn't interupt or say anything, and she never did, I felt she enjoyed my playing and it made the song writing efforts more special to me. Of course there's nothing wrong with being bothered by too much affection we're all different and only if you have two people dating who feel so differently about it will it become an issue. I know I would have an issue dating someone who couldn't take all the cuddling and affection but I can understand why people ight feel that way.
cheers
-B
*smiles* the thought of someone coming and putting their arms around me while I am writing is actually sort of a kind of fantacy of mine but we won't go there *smiles*, but .. yeah, if it's the right person then it would be wonderful that they wanted to be so close to me while I was writing or playing. course I'm a keyboard player so taking the keyboard to bed isn't an option *grins* but just in general it would be wonderful *smiles*.
Lol, I just say that I agree with Matt +smiles*.
Being held and holding is really one of the greatest pleasures in a relationship.
ahh brilliant! well, you know what we'll be doing this summer...
I still stand firm to how I feel. Holding is nice, but only up to a certain extent.
*sexy*
Hi Michelle!! *hugs* I love to be held by certain people. Like for instance I have this friend who will hug and hoold me, but I don't like it. There are certain people who Id rather let hold me then others. The ones that can hold me are ones thats dont make me feel uncomfortable and make me feel like I'm being smothered. Now if justin were to hold me.... *smiles* We'd be ALL set!!! hehehe love ya girl have a good day bye
I think "holding" someone is definitely one of the most intimate things. Holding one another brings each other close, heart to heart, flesh to flesh... soul to soul.
That's one of the things I miss and regret most in light of my decision to abstain from love and all it's attendant results and responsibilities.
The bond I feel with the person I'm holding in love is... so magical, I would do it a terrible injustice in trying to find mere words to describe it. It's... it's like holding peace, serenity, paradise, sanctuary, treasure, fortune, ambition, ... all the things that make one full, all at once. It's like holding an angel, and you're the only two people that matter within that moment.
Yea, and even as the mountain doth reach forth to embrace its companion, wherein their peaks might intertwine forever in compassionate embrace. Mayhap I could compare it to the kiss of the sun upon its lovechild, Earth. Whereon every turning of Dawn, the sun doth brush its loving fingers across her flesh, delighting in the revelry of the sensations.
... OK, I'm off to fantasize some more about what I can't have.
Yay, I know what we'll be doing. *smiles*.
Unfortunately, I'm not that romantic in heart and soul. I write songs about the wonders of being held but I just can't experience it myself. Maybe you could say that I express love in different ways as well as liking it expressed in different ways.
*sexy*
That's all right, each to their own. I just love it.
Yeah, I fantasize about being held sometimes and like to be buried in my blankets, but to be held by someone for long periods of time, I don't think I could do that. But I show I care in what I do or would do for the people I care about.
Leilani
Hm, yeah, I understand that, Tinkerbell, but, maybe, if you try it out, you might like it. IT is just so wonderful and confortable.
Just adding to the list of snuggle-pots and cuddle-pies. I'm a pretty tactile person, so I get a kick out of cuddling when sex isn't involved, just for cuddle's sake. It's fine with me that not everyone gets into the casual touching thing, though what I really don't get is people who say they don't want to cuddle after sex. It just seems like such a natural, automatic sort of thing to do after something so intimate.
I love to cuddle, i am a teddy bear by nature, but one that always has blown my mind is if the other person closes their hand around my wrist, or something, and just stays there. it isnt meant as threatening or anything, but it makes me crazy, like i -need- to go, right away
I don't only want to cuddle after sex. No no no. Cuddling, any time.
Hi all I'll jump in here. I love being held so much. I t might stem from the fac I wasn't held much when I was a baby because I was so small. Of course it sucks when my boyfriend's six feet and i'm five three. Lol he haveto put me against a wall sometimes. Lol. I knew a girl who doesn't like to be held, and nothing wrogn with it. hugs sg.
yeah, it's just brilliant in general, there is a certain, er, dunno, for once my linguistic brain has failed to give me an adjective. Simply put, I love it
Yep same here *smiles*.
yes, i love it. there's nothing more beautiful than being held in the arms of a lover.
I am a hugable bear, I can find peace in my gf's arm's when the day falls around and I can't make it through. Its light a light that guides the way for me to make it through the day. "some of what I wrote was barrowed from three doors down" Yet this how I feel. starfly
Sounded good, and real.
Oh yes, be held. Especially in a new relationship, there's nothing like it. I've always found that I don't just like it but almost have some sort of physical reaction to it (no, not what you guys think! :-)), it's just this huge surge of happiness. But I agree with the distance-sleepers on here. For some reason I can only fall asleep on my stomach, with my arms folded under my pillow and one knee drawn up, and I don't think I would fit in anyone's arms like that :-).
Same here, Susanne.
Yeah I don't just love it bjut wish for it every night. I guess that is all I have for now.
its jessica and i like to be held only really at night or after and beofr sex. i mean other times but like if we are just sittin there on an afternoon that isn't really my thing.
Well thats cool. It would make me feel good if I were held. It would make me forget all my problems.
ah well yeh, there's a reason for ya, lol
Thanks. I could really use it about now.
I like to be held!!! and I like to held other too!!!. It made you think and feel That He or she love you and care for you. that all I have to say. and know that I love you forever and for always.
hehehehe So I guess I don't love you then??? hehehehehe Cuz I don't like to be held!!! heheheheeheh
*sexy*
I for one love to be held. I think it is very relaxing and enjoyable, especially if you're being held by someone who you care for and who cares for you.
I enjoy being held & cuddling a lot. I like to feel someone's body next to mine, & i like to nurture them & be nurtured in return. But I can't do it for too long because I feel like I need my own space back.
I love to hold and be held. I'm a very tactile person, so to be able to reach out and make contact, is good, but to be held whether it's in the middle of the day, or before or after sex, I think it's great. Like many here, I can't sleep in someone's arms, I get too hot, and can only sleep if cool. I sometimes find after sex though I'd rather just lie next to a partner and talk rather than be in their arms, maybe it's a time to cool down a bit while you get ready to go again. lol
hmm... sadly I've never been truly held... well by my parrents and by a few guys. I phanticize about it, and everytime westy and I are online we're always holding each other. I weould love just to be held by him in person... *embarrassed smiley
Karrie
I love to be held. The protective yet gentle embrace of my lover is part of what turns me on when I think about him, but anyway, that might have been a little too informative. I can dream, can't I? Anyway, yes, being held is a wonderful feeling, when it is done right.
Oh yeah. I just feel happy while being held (we don't get the oportunity to enjoy it often).
I would have to say that being held is so magical. When wrapped in someones arms who you love it almost makes you feel like I'm flying. Knowing whn you go to sleep at night and wake i the morning in somone's arms is the most awesome experience.
Didn't have a chance to do the over-night-thing but I can so imagine. And it's true, it feels like flying.
ah yes, i love to be held by someone special! of course! I mean just any old dirty guy and it's sickening! Lol I never thought I could be held while falling asleep but I was proven wrong! I couldn't believe it when I woke up, and especially as his arms were so firmly around me! Of course I hold as well and I think I again proved that I mannaged to do it while I was sleeping! But I am not sure if that was just a once-off thing I could achieve or not Guess I will have to wait til I can see him again next year *wink wink*
OK I am finding I am saying way too much on these boards tonight, so I will just stop typing and keep reading! :):) Lol
I agree. I only want to be held by one person, that's for sure. No guy I don'T know (no other than the special one in general).
Hmm, love it, smile. Can't quite beat the feeling of being close to the person you love...
Definitely agreed, Danielle.
you're absolutely too right Sugar! there pretty much can be nothing compared to in this world! :) *smile*
I love being held...*sigh* its such a nice feeling..
I don'T get to have it very often but whenever I do ... I just love it *smiles*.
Holding ther person you love or being held by her is the best ting in the world, especially as you drift off to sleep, there is nothing that I can think of, no matter how expensive or fancy or unique that can ever beat that feeling. *smiles*
lol It sounds to me like I've started a *smile* reaction with this topic. hehehehehe Well, after reading this topic, I still stick firmly to how I feel. Don't hold me too tight or you'll get a decking! heheheh I know you all think I'm strange but to each his own! Yay for the free feeling! *smile* heheheheheh Just keeping the chain going!
*sexy*
well I know I replied to thies already, but here's another 2 cents for all it's worth. Beeing held is absolutely the most gorgeous feeling in the world, and I love nothing more than beeing in my lovers arms, and if it was an option I'd be there 24/7. However! it isn't always practical, and while I love it, I do get frustrated if I'm concentrating on something important, and my partner is constantly trying to distract me. but that's where communication is the key to success, and it's important that you know each other well enough to know when it is apropriate, and when it isn't. I once dated a guy who constantly wanted to hold my hand, and that was fine, but when I'm using my hands to get a job done, and he keeps grabbing for it, it drives me crazy, I'm a bit of a work now play later girl when I get started. although getting started if the biggest task and I admit I can be extremely lazy at times. But let me do what I've started and hten I'll be in your arms for as long as you like and I'll never mobe hehe.
Well Michelle it seems to me you are one of the very few people who don'T really enjoy it. I mean I do not judge that. It's all right, of course it is. It's just interesting to hear that most people love it, some though don#t.
I love to be held, and I love to hold my girlfriend! Huggles with the one you love are the best thing in the world! I don't know if I could state a preference of one over the other! I love holding my girlfriend as I like to think she feels safe in my arms, and it is a way for me to show her that I'm always gonna be there for her, to hold her and support her through anything and everything. And on the other hand, I love to be held too. I love how it feels, being enclosed in her arms. It feels safe, and secure and that nothing in the world matters, apart from us, right there and then in that moment. I feel safe, and secure and loved, there is nothing like it! I love the closeness and connection we have from being held and holding each other, and know that nothing in the world matters than us at that moment in time. I do get hot sometimes when being held, but that doesn't make me love it any less... we just interchange who does the holding and who is being held when we both get hot. :)
It always comes down to communication and personal preferences. I dated a girl once that didn't like to be held or openly affectionate (we're not talking all over each other but she was even weird about holding hands in public( I discovered that I just could not be happy in that type of relationship because that doesn't fit my character or my idea about dating and that was ok.
But at the same time, of course, you have to give the person you are with a bit of space sometimes, don't disrupt him/her when something important is going on, I think you should show a loving gesture like a hug or a moment of playing with that person's hair just to say "I'm thinking about you, let me know if i can help you with what you're doing" but ultimately you have to know that sometimes there are other things besides just cuddling that need to be taken care of. If you're in particular need of affection then I think your partner should realize that and give you priority over other things if possible. I can't think of any point in time I don't like being held or holding but I know I sometimes cannot concentrate on e.g. mathematical analysis or programming and being romantic at the same time, trust me, those two things are not verymuch related, and then, like puggle (surprise) I'd rather get the first thing done before giving my partner the attention I want to give her and that's probably more attention than most people could handle admittedly *smiles*.
I agree, huggles aren't the only way to show complete and utter affection. It's the little things, like holding hands in the street, or touching your loved one to show you love them. A gentle kiss if you're passing them, or going out of your way to kiss them etc. But I do think, you have to make time for good, old-fashioned, romantic huggles... you can't beat the closeness :)
I love being held/holding someone. If the position is bad for you though or whatever, try laying on top of him or beside him at a better angle. Especially if you know you're going to sleep at some point! There is nothing worse than trying to wriggle out of a certain position and trying not to wake the other person up! It's close to impossible!
I like holding and being held, but don't like feeling smothered. I want to be with someone who's going to understand that there's a time and place for everything and will give me my space when I need/want it. *SMILE*
Wow I never thought someone could not love holding and being held by the one you love and that loves you. It's the best feeling I've ever felt. It makes me feel loved, wanted, cared for, and god a million other things. Sometimes holding hands can get annoying but I love to be showed love by my partner.
I personally hate to be touched, but love to be held.
I'm the kind of person who unless knowing you very well, I won't let you touch me. To be touched by someone else, is sometimes physically painfull in my case.
However, if a person can break down my walls made of morter, then I'll allow intimate contact, but they are nearly impossible to demolish.
They've been reinforced by years of broken promisses, and self.idiocy.
So in short answer, yes, I love to be held, but it takes quite a distance to have and hold me, and anyone who can do this, I grately admire them.
I can understand that, Krystal Rain. There was a time where I felt the same.
I am one who absolutely loves to be held by my boyfriend, and to hold him. To me, it's a very special bond that we share with each other. I love to feel him so close to me, feeling his warmth, and as others have said, there's also a sense of security, comfort, and serenity. At nighttime, when I wake up and I feel him so close to me, it makes me feel so happy. It's something that means so much to me. Something I hold so close and treasure.
I too, want to feel that closeness to be held my the one I love, that, means more then anything to me
o i'm a cuddly type. I love being held and all, but i don't really like to be messed with that much if i'm on the computer. maybe a quick kiss, but that's about it
nothing can be better than be held by someone that love you and care you and yes, the special someone. i think, it is another way to express the love towards you or you both. of course, i'll like to ben hold for a long long time. cheers
I can honestly say that there is nothing more precious than being held by the love of your life. It's a feeling that accedes any other.
And, yes, there is one person who has mannaged to slogg past the thorn cover exterior of mine, and to be held by them right now would be truely magical.
God that is one thing i rairily ever get unless something is wanted for it, don't give in to that, but I love being held. I think it's so encredable being cuddled being close feeling presents beside me. I am a very warm person. only time i get snappy is if i have to finish something important, or if i'm PMsSing bad.
I definitely like to be held. But only when the person has the equal feeling. Being held by the person you are with when they are doing it just for you does not feel right.
i agree, the_aueen_of-R&B, it must be the equal feeling.
lol I haven't looked at this topic in such a long time. But I still stand by what I said before. There are other ways that I like to be shown love and holding me isn't one of them. I'd much rather have my lover tell me he loves me, kiss me, hold my hand, buy me an unexpected present, give me an unexpected compliment, comfort me by saying everything's going to be ok when I cry, sing me a song when stroking my hair, rubbing my shoulders when they are sore, tell me there's no better cook than me and meaning it, talk to me a little before we go to sleep, waking up in the middle of the night wanting me, taking me out once in a while, surprising me by giving me a random rose, and well, you get the picture. lol I love snuggling up to him and rubbing my body against his but when those arms start rapping themselves around me, I start to feel trapped. lol I think I am the only person who feels this way. hehehe But I guess that's what makes me me.
Aww Michelle you are so unromantic. Lol joking. I agree, I mean, there are other important things, but I stil lthink holding and cuddling is one of the tmost important things. Cause compliments ... I sometimes feel they say it without really meaning it.
sorry, but there ain't nothin' better than grandma's home cookin! at least for me anyways. lol
Michelle, I agree with you to a certain extent. I mean, all those things you mentioned, I love! They are so important and mean more than words could say, but to me, holding is another one of those very important things. Of course, that's just my opinion. Not everyone is going to agree, but for me, holding is just as important as all those things you mentioned. It's so wonderful to have someone unexpectedly do something for you, say I love you, kiss you, hold your hand, touch you, bring you a flower/gift/surprise, etc. Words could never describe the way i feel when my boyfriend does something like that. Each and every little thing he says and does, is so special to me.
I totally agree with you, Gemini.
Held but not too long. . .
Intresting. I loved to be heled even If I miss my lover as I do now.
I love being held. I don't want to be held all day, but I am affectionate and I love being close to someone.
I love being held. One day last week was the first time my b/f held me for longer than the duration of a long hug... and I love it. I feel close to him, and feel safe knowing that he doesn't want anything else from me but to hold him also.
Kate
Well, since it's been resurrected: I agree with the majority of others who've posted here. I love being held. I'm the sort of person who can be a bit overaffectionate, if there is such a thing. It's very rare that you'll find me in a mood where I don't want to be physically close--holding hands, hugging, being held, et cetera. It doesn't really matter where I am or what I'm doing, I'm a very hands-on kind of person.
yeah I loved to be heldas well as to hold that special someone. I love to cuddle before and after sex or just to cuddle because I'm cold or just to talk. I'm the kind of person who loves to hug and show the person I love/ care about how much i do in every/ any way that I can. I so love when I'm about to go to sleep and the person I'm with is next to me and he's holding me until I fall asleep. I don't think I can sleep being held in fact I can't, but i do love being held before I go to sleep and when I wake up.
I absolutely love to be held and to hold. I love to hold an infant while it cries, then to soothe it until it quiets down to mere fussing and then relaxes and falls asleep in my arms. I could hold a baby or a child for hours and not even notice them druling on my blouse or the fact that my left arm might be falling asleep. I think it's the greatest thing when I'm watching some children and one of them jumps up onto my lap or curls up on the couch next to me for a cuddle while reading a book or watching a movie, even if their pointy little elbows and knees create pressure points all over my body, their little feet dig into my abdomin when I already need to pea like crazy or when I find a half eaten lollypop stuck to my sweater. I love to hold a puppy or kitten and have it snuggle down into my lap or up against my shoulder. It's always great to hold a purring cat or a small puppy that smells all warm and puppyfull. I love for one of my friends, male or female to put their head on my shoulder or to put their arm around my shoulders. I love huggs, from friends and family and I often hug mere acquaintainces or even strangers on occation if I'm really happy and need to share the enthoosiasm, or if I'm feeling particularly down and they offer me comfort in a hug. I'm also one to hug those that look as if they are in need of support or comfort. I love to hold my man. Before sex, after sex, when there's no sex involved. When we're making out, or when we're just hanging out. I love to be held in a sentual way having my body stroked, but I also like to be held in an affirming or comforting way, just holding on and listening to the other person's breathing and heartbeat. I love to hold hands, whether I'm gently stroking my boyfriend's hand to let him know I love him and I want him, or if I'm nervous about an audition and Kait is holding my hand while I sit there and shake with nerves or to hold the hand of a woman in labor, while I experience a miricle and pray that all of the bones in my hand won't be crushed to powder. I love to have someone sit in front of me while I brush their hair, it can be my nan, or a kid I'm babysitting or a male or female friend. I like to know that I can lay my head on someone's shoulder, lap or chest when I'm emotionally or physically tired and to hold someone's feet in my lap while I massage them, or to hold someone's head on my lap while I play with their hair or touch their face. All of this is strange for me, because Although I was hugged and cuddled as a child I went through a phase of rather long duration when I just didn't want to be touched, not even by my parents. That all changed when I went to Eastman and later to NYSSSA. Musicians are a huggy bunch, and they converted me back to the side of the perpetual huggles and now I love to be held. There's nothing like being in some sort of physical contact with someone while you both fall asleep. If full out holding makes you too hot or too sufficated, try just laying your head on their shoulder, or resting your leg against theirs or draping one arm across their body. I can't imagine not being held on a regular basis. It's so encredibly wonderful.
Awww, that was cuuuuuute. And I likes the word puppyfull.
thanks. Puppyfull. To resemble a puppy to the extent that one expresses the pure essence of puppiosity. German Shepheards always make me melt with their puppyfull natures. Oh, now I've got to define puppiosity. Well, I guess it's self-explanatory. lol
I absolutely love being held. The last time I was held was on Valentine's Day by my boyfriend. If I just lean my head against his shoulder, he takes the hint and puts his arms around me.
Sometimes I feel sorry for guys that don't always get the signals. Women should have little digital screens on their forheads that display, "I'm feeling romantic, I want to make love." or "I just want to be held right now." or "I'm really horny, I want to fuck." or "I've had a bad day, if you lay a hand on me other than to stroke my hair I'll kill you." We expect guys to read our minds, and I had to learn the hard way that if I want him to make me cum I need to ask him and if I want him to hold me and comfort me I need to ask too. Just some thoughts for all of the girls out there. May you find them helpful when you want to be held.